I don't believe Erika is being entirely straight with me.
I am fairly certain she is being followed by something as well.
Every once in a while it becomes...cold. Freezing, even. Colder than even winter should be.
Even more rarely, I catch sight of a little boy covered in a layer of frost.
And I, typically, when this occurs, I hear a nursery rhyme.
Of course, Erika tells me it is nothing, as she tells me everything is "nothing". It is surprising the walls of reality themselves don't fall down around Erika or Extra or whatever her name is, given the amount of times everything about her is "nothing".
Showing posts with label Erika. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Erika. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Thanksgiving
I was thankful out of spite this year. I am doing many things out of spite this year.
I was thankful for my baby, even though she's starting to be something of a hassle. I am starting to wonder what sort of dementia I have been suffering wanting a second chance at pregnancy. I was thankful for Erika, even if she is just about the worst person to have on hand while you're pregnant. I was even thankful for this lovely bouquet I received. I am not going to cower ever time I get some flowers. You're stalking the wrong girl to get that reaction, you monster.
I am sort of worried about the end of my term, though. What happens when I have to stay put? It's going to happen sooner rather than later. My second trimester will be over in roughly a month's time. I won't be able to run, soon.
No, I'm not going to dwell on that. Erika's been looking for a safe place. In her own way, I suppose. I need to focus on moving forward. Protecting the baby. For Tam and for myself. I will see this through.
I was thankful for my baby, even though she's starting to be something of a hassle. I am starting to wonder what sort of dementia I have been suffering wanting a second chance at pregnancy. I was thankful for Erika, even if she is just about the worst person to have on hand while you're pregnant. I was even thankful for this lovely bouquet I received. I am not going to cower ever time I get some flowers. You're stalking the wrong girl to get that reaction, you monster.
I am sort of worried about the end of my term, though. What happens when I have to stay put? It's going to happen sooner rather than later. My second trimester will be over in roughly a month's time. I won't be able to run, soon.
No, I'm not going to dwell on that. Erika's been looking for a safe place. In her own way, I suppose. I need to focus on moving forward. Protecting the baby. For Tam and for myself. I will see this through.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Erika
I have a little time. Not much, but a little. Erika--she has lost the war on preventing me from calling her that--wants us to get as far away from where we were as possible. She doesn't want to police finding us. I tend to agree--I doubt I would be very interesting quarry--if that is indeed what is keeping me alive--from protective custody.
She won't tell me much about herself. She says she was watching me because I remind her of someone she lost. She also says she was once a victim of these...creatures, herself, in the past.
I want to trust her, but...I don't know what to think, anymore. I long for a time when I could blame the death of my fiance on the evils of man. But now? The world is so much darker than I knew it to be. Can I afford to trust someone like her when literal creatures of darkness are out to get me and my unborn as well?
I should sleep. I have a long day of being homeless and on the run tomorrow.
She won't tell me much about herself. She says she was watching me because I remind her of someone she lost. She also says she was once a victim of these...creatures, herself, in the past.
I want to trust her, but...I don't know what to think, anymore. I long for a time when I could blame the death of my fiance on the evils of man. But now? The world is so much darker than I knew it to be. Can I afford to trust someone like her when literal creatures of darkness are out to get me and my unborn as well?
I should sleep. I have a long day of being homeless and on the run tomorrow.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Whirlwind
Have you ever had a day you were certain was a dream?
That has been today.
When I looked into the main room, I saw a man there. I didn't recognize him. He didn't see me, at first, but I heard him call out.
"I gave you the warnings! I left the codes! You should have listened! It's too late, now...it's too late for both of us!"
I waited until he was looking the other direction and slowly closed my door. I turned towards my window and prepared to open it.
Then....I saw
I'm not sure what it is. What it was.
It was shaped like a man. It had wild, messy red hair, the sort of red no person's hair actually is. It wore an oversized, blood-soaked shirt that covered its hands with over-long sleeves. It must have had eyes, but I never remember seeing them.
I just remember its smile.
It was so wide, so impossibly wide. Full of teeth, an impossible number of teeth, more than should have fit in an already impossibly wide smile.
And then it was in the room with me.
I scrambled to the door and flung it open, and tried to run, but the man in the room grabbed me, held me down no matter how hard I struggled against his grip.
"See, see what you're making me do! It's your fault. You should've run!" The man cried and that...that thing walked slowly towards me. The grin never left its face. It only grew larger.
It knelt next to me. Blood dripped off its shirt, onto the ground. It held out a sleeve covered hand towards me, and I felt a cut slowly open across my cheek, seemingly with no source. I saw...I tried to look at its eyes, but I couldn't. I could only see that horrible mouth, that horrible grin get wider and wider.
I realized it was going to torture me. It was going to cut at me and bleed me and make me suffer. And then it was going to take my heart. It was going to kill me, and my baby, like it had killed Tam.
There was nothing I could do to stop it.
And that's when the man in white saved my life.
He burst in the room and stabbed the man holding me down in the chest with a butterfly knife. The creature looked casually up at him, and the man in white wrenched the blade out of the man's body and slammed it into the monster's chest, right where the heart would have been on any human.
He then grabbed me and pulled me up, kicking away the now gasping for air man in the process, and pulled me as fast as he could us out of the building.
We had bolted out the front door and were starting to rush down the street when I realized that the "man" in white wasn't a man at all.
It was Erika.
Police cars pulled to a stop in front of us, and police rushed out, pulling their weapons and ordering us to freeze. Erika did so, as did I, mostly out of reflex. I had no idea what was going on....I had no idea how I'd been saved, or what I'd been saved from.
I almost began to ask when the police in front of me were suddenly torn into ribbons by some invisible force. From behind their cars stepped the creature, knife still protruding from its chest. It walked slowly towards us. Erika shoved me behind her and stepped forward, as if to meet it head on.
The thing cocked its head slightly, and reached both of its hands to the blade. It pressed them to the weapon and slowly pulled it out without gripping it. It then slowly held the knife out, as if offering it back. Erika did not accept it, and the beast just let it topple to the ground.
It leaned to the side, and looked right at me. Its grin somehow got even wider, now substantially wider than the face it belonged to, and then it vanished.
In its place was a bouquet of Forget-me-nots.
"Erika. Erika, what was..."
"My name is not Erika." She said. "And we need to get you away from here, quickly. You will live only as long as you provide decent sport for that--thing."
"But what's going on?!" I asked. "What was that?! Who are you?!"
Erika--or whatever her name was--flipped her knife closed and placed it in her trenchcoat. "I picked the name Erika because it is...similar to what I have been calling myself. You should call me Extra. The Extra Piece. As for what that thing was...some call it the Smiling Man. I try not to call these entities by their actual name. I have thought of it, in the past, as the Where the Wild Roses Grow."
She has told me...substantially more, since we've been fleeing. This is the only moment of respite I've known since the hellish whirlwind the day started as.
That..thing will follow me. It will torment me until I stop being interesting to it, and then it will kill me. All I can do to survive is...make it an interesting chase.
It is one of many, many creatures of its kind. She won't tell me how she knows any of this, or why it didn't just kill her, too, when it had the chance.
We're at a diner. Erika's--I cannot think of her otherwise--telling me we need to get moving, to find a place to sleep. Before something comes and finds us.
I will post when I can.
Right now...I feel as though I need to sob myself to sleep.
Mary....Clayre...don't worry about me. I think...I think I'll be fine, for now. I think we'll be fine.
That has been today.
When I looked into the main room, I saw a man there. I didn't recognize him. He didn't see me, at first, but I heard him call out.
"I gave you the warnings! I left the codes! You should have listened! It's too late, now...it's too late for both of us!"
I waited until he was looking the other direction and slowly closed my door. I turned towards my window and prepared to open it.
Then....I saw
I'm not sure what it is. What it was.
It was shaped like a man. It had wild, messy red hair, the sort of red no person's hair actually is. It wore an oversized, blood-soaked shirt that covered its hands with over-long sleeves. It must have had eyes, but I never remember seeing them.
I just remember its smile.
It was so wide, so impossibly wide. Full of teeth, an impossible number of teeth, more than should have fit in an already impossibly wide smile.
And then it was in the room with me.
I scrambled to the door and flung it open, and tried to run, but the man in the room grabbed me, held me down no matter how hard I struggled against his grip.
"See, see what you're making me do! It's your fault. You should've run!" The man cried and that...that thing walked slowly towards me. The grin never left its face. It only grew larger.
It knelt next to me. Blood dripped off its shirt, onto the ground. It held out a sleeve covered hand towards me, and I felt a cut slowly open across my cheek, seemingly with no source. I saw...I tried to look at its eyes, but I couldn't. I could only see that horrible mouth, that horrible grin get wider and wider.
I realized it was going to torture me. It was going to cut at me and bleed me and make me suffer. And then it was going to take my heart. It was going to kill me, and my baby, like it had killed Tam.
There was nothing I could do to stop it.
And that's when the man in white saved my life.
He burst in the room and stabbed the man holding me down in the chest with a butterfly knife. The creature looked casually up at him, and the man in white wrenched the blade out of the man's body and slammed it into the monster's chest, right where the heart would have been on any human.
He then grabbed me and pulled me up, kicking away the now gasping for air man in the process, and pulled me as fast as he could us out of the building.
We had bolted out the front door and were starting to rush down the street when I realized that the "man" in white wasn't a man at all.
It was Erika.
Police cars pulled to a stop in front of us, and police rushed out, pulling their weapons and ordering us to freeze. Erika did so, as did I, mostly out of reflex. I had no idea what was going on....I had no idea how I'd been saved, or what I'd been saved from.
I almost began to ask when the police in front of me were suddenly torn into ribbons by some invisible force. From behind their cars stepped the creature, knife still protruding from its chest. It walked slowly towards us. Erika shoved me behind her and stepped forward, as if to meet it head on.
The thing cocked its head slightly, and reached both of its hands to the blade. It pressed them to the weapon and slowly pulled it out without gripping it. It then slowly held the knife out, as if offering it back. Erika did not accept it, and the beast just let it topple to the ground.
It leaned to the side, and looked right at me. Its grin somehow got even wider, now substantially wider than the face it belonged to, and then it vanished.
In its place was a bouquet of Forget-me-nots.
"Erika. Erika, what was..."
"My name is not Erika." She said. "And we need to get you away from here, quickly. You will live only as long as you provide decent sport for that--thing."
"But what's going on?!" I asked. "What was that?! Who are you?!"
Erika--or whatever her name was--flipped her knife closed and placed it in her trenchcoat. "I picked the name Erika because it is...similar to what I have been calling myself. You should call me Extra. The Extra Piece. As for what that thing was...some call it the Smiling Man. I try not to call these entities by their actual name. I have thought of it, in the past, as the Where the Wild Roses Grow."
She has told me...substantially more, since we've been fleeing. This is the only moment of respite I've known since the hellish whirlwind the day started as.
That..thing will follow me. It will torment me until I stop being interesting to it, and then it will kill me. All I can do to survive is...make it an interesting chase.
It is one of many, many creatures of its kind. She won't tell me how she knows any of this, or why it didn't just kill her, too, when it had the chance.
We're at a diner. Erika's--I cannot think of her otherwise--telling me we need to get moving, to find a place to sleep. Before something comes and finds us.
I will post when I can.
Right now...I feel as though I need to sob myself to sleep.
Mary....Clayre...don't worry about me. I think...I think I'll be fine, for now. I think we'll be fine.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Working out is hard
I have expressed my desire to get in better shape, both for my baby, and for me, in case the killer returns.
Surprisingly, Erika knows a lot about defense. She has taught me a lot already, and I'm learning more every day.
It is also exhausting. Perhaps the baby is finally starting to take its toll on me. Or maybe I'm just a wimp. I am inclined to believe I am fantastic at any given juncture, so I'm blaming the interloper in my stomach.
Erika isn't just good at self-defense, though. I've heard her have many an argument with some of the officers around here. Apparently, she likes to give them the slip when she's out on her morning jog. I'm not sure where she goes, but when she is finally picked up again it's usually with some coffee for all of us so I can't complain too hard.
I just worry about here. About everyone. We've been stuck here for over two weeks now. When does it end? When does it stop being likely that this killer will come after us? How long do we have to wait? I know I spouted some rather inspiring rhetoric about being read for the killer, but am I? Do I have to be ready my whole life? How long must we wait for the other shoe to smack us upside out collective heads?
Surprisingly, Erika knows a lot about defense. She has taught me a lot already, and I'm learning more every day.
It is also exhausting. Perhaps the baby is finally starting to take its toll on me. Or maybe I'm just a wimp. I am inclined to believe I am fantastic at any given juncture, so I'm blaming the interloper in my stomach.
Erika isn't just good at self-defense, though. I've heard her have many an argument with some of the officers around here. Apparently, she likes to give them the slip when she's out on her morning jog. I'm not sure where she goes, but when she is finally picked up again it's usually with some coffee for all of us so I can't complain too hard.
I just worry about here. About everyone. We've been stuck here for over two weeks now. When does it end? When does it stop being likely that this killer will come after us? How long do we have to wait? I know I spouted some rather inspiring rhetoric about being read for the killer, but am I? Do I have to be ready my whole life? How long must we wait for the other shoe to smack us upside out collective heads?
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Greetings from protective custody
There is nothing quite like being woken the day after your fiance has been found dead in your very own place of residence by the police.
To answer any questions, I am fine, for the moment. Though, perhaps, a better way to say that is I am numb, for the moment. I feel cold, cold and empty. It will probably pass in time, but for now, I feel nothing. Clayre, Erika, and Mary all worry for me, but they shouldn't. This has wounded me, it has cut me very deeply, but I will survive, and I will scar over, and I will be a better person for this.
I have almost repeated that enough that I believe it.
At any rate, you have probably gained additional questions due to my rather attention-gathering post title. I had thought of perhaps doing something a bit less gaudy, but in the end, I went with shock value. Gauche, I know.
I am being held by the police, for my own good.
Apparently, the death of Tam, coupled with the lead-up to his murder, follow the pattern of a serial killer known as "the Chrysanthemum Slasher". Given the pattern of the Slasher, either I, someone Tam knows, or someone I know could be the next victims. So, I have police watching my movements at all hours of the night. Clayre and Mary and Erika have been staying with me at a house where we can all be watched carefully "for our own protection".
...and I honestly do not care if I am next.
I know that sounds terrible. I just do not care anymore. It's not that I don't want to live anymore. I just don't care if I die.
Yes, I know this means the baby would die too, but...I feel like a horrible person, but I have a hard time caring about that either. You didn't see what his body looked like. The pain he must have gone through. he must have been so scared, so alone. The killer took his heart. He took my Tam's heart. Why would someone do that to someone else? What sort of world am I bringing this child into, where someone will do that to another human being?
To answer any questions, I am fine, for the moment. Though, perhaps, a better way to say that is I am numb, for the moment. I feel cold, cold and empty. It will probably pass in time, but for now, I feel nothing. Clayre, Erika, and Mary all worry for me, but they shouldn't. This has wounded me, it has cut me very deeply, but I will survive, and I will scar over, and I will be a better person for this.
I have almost repeated that enough that I believe it.
At any rate, you have probably gained additional questions due to my rather attention-gathering post title. I had thought of perhaps doing something a bit less gaudy, but in the end, I went with shock value. Gauche, I know.
I am being held by the police, for my own good.
Apparently, the death of Tam, coupled with the lead-up to his murder, follow the pattern of a serial killer known as "the Chrysanthemum Slasher". Given the pattern of the Slasher, either I, someone Tam knows, or someone I know could be the next victims. So, I have police watching my movements at all hours of the night. Clayre and Mary and Erika have been staying with me at a house where we can all be watched carefully "for our own protection".
...and I honestly do not care if I am next.
I know that sounds terrible. I just do not care anymore. It's not that I don't want to live anymore. I just don't care if I die.
Yes, I know this means the baby would die too, but...I feel like a horrible person, but I have a hard time caring about that either. You didn't see what his body looked like. The pain he must have gone through. he must have been so scared, so alone. The killer took his heart. He took my Tam's heart. Why would someone do that to someone else? What sort of world am I bringing this child into, where someone will do that to another human being?
Monday, August 13, 2012
nononononononono
oh god please no
no no no
i don't know what
i didn't
no no no no no no no
This is Erika. I have made Ashleigh take a sleeping pill and lie down. Because she is still out of sorts, I will finish this for her.
The details are sketchy, but from what I can gather, when Ashleigh came home on Friday, she found the body of Tam, her fiance, on her bed in her apartment. I will not go into the details on the cause of death or the extent of his injuries--suffice it to say, it is fairly impossible for his death to have been anything save foul play. None currently know how his body was taken here--there were no witnesses, and Mary was home the entire time and heard and saw nothing.
She may not post in this blog for a while. She asked me to say that specifically.
Please, have patience with her. This is a very trying time for her.
oh god please no
no no no
i don't know what
i didn't
no no no no no no no
This is Erika. I have made Ashleigh take a sleeping pill and lie down. Because she is still out of sorts, I will finish this for her.
The details are sketchy, but from what I can gather, when Ashleigh came home on Friday, she found the body of Tam, her fiance, on her bed in her apartment. I will not go into the details on the cause of death or the extent of his injuries--suffice it to say, it is fairly impossible for his death to have been anything save foul play. None currently know how his body was taken here--there were no witnesses, and Mary was home the entire time and heard and saw nothing.
She may not post in this blog for a while. She asked me to say that specifically.
Please, have patience with her. This is a very trying time for her.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Chicago is boring
So Erika, Mary, Justine (one of the few vaguely tolerable work friends Mary has), and I all went up to Taste of Chicago today. I decided to skip classes, though it turns out I just exchanged them for something about as extraordinarily dull. Just a bunch of food stands and some shitty bands playing occasionally. Apparently they cut funding for it or something and it was only half the size it has been. Oh well. At least I got an ice cream cone the size of my forearm out of the trip.
There was a bookstore nearby, so the day wasn't a complete waste of time and money. Erika and Mary are trying to drag me out to the ren faire up in Bristol this weekend. It's really not my thing. I tried to say I didn't have any garb, but Erika insists she can get something my size. So I may be going despite my protests.
There was a bookstore nearby, so the day wasn't a complete waste of time and money. Erika and Mary are trying to drag me out to the ren faire up in Bristol this weekend. It's really not my thing. I tried to say I didn't have any garb, but Erika insists she can get something my size. So I may be going despite my protests.
It might be good to get out, though. I could use the sun, and the distraction. I haven't made up my mind yet. It's not like I'll have anything else to do this weekend, apparently.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
There was going to be a party
My very first comment. I was so excited. There was going to be cake and everything. I hired a DJ, and we were going to have pizza, and it was going to be absolutely wonderful.
I hope you feel happy for yourself, whoever you are that was, what, hitting refresh on my blog every ten minutes, waiting for me to post? We had to throw the cake away, and the party clown went home crying. How is he supposed to feed his wife and kids now?
From that other comment, it's some kind of code? I don't know. I don't know who would put something like that up, and I don't really care.
Probably one of Mary's idiotic friends.
Oh well, regardless, more about my day.
Erika did indeed come by while I was at work, and she stayed for my entire shift. I'm not entirely dissuaded on the "she's attracted to me" front, though she did entertain herself when I was busy, so maybe she's just lonely, kind of like how I have been. It's no secret that I'm not very personable. When I say that Mary is my best friend, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that, beyond my fiance, she is my only friend. It's good to have someone who's so instantly taken with me that they would sit around a coffee shop for four hours entertaining me.
I'm kind of excited for tomorrow. I want to see if the man in white is back. I sincerely hope I chased him off with my little wave. If I haven't...maybe I'll go talk to him? Of course, I won't do it alone. I'll bring my fiance or Erika with me, and see if we can't find out what's going on.
I hope you feel happy for yourself, whoever you are that was, what, hitting refresh on my blog every ten minutes, waiting for me to post? We had to throw the cake away, and the party clown went home crying. How is he supposed to feed his wife and kids now?
From that other comment, it's some kind of code? I don't know. I don't know who would put something like that up, and I don't really care.
Probably one of Mary's idiotic friends.
Oh well, regardless, more about my day.
Erika did indeed come by while I was at work, and she stayed for my entire shift. I'm not entirely dissuaded on the "she's attracted to me" front, though she did entertain herself when I was busy, so maybe she's just lonely, kind of like how I have been. It's no secret that I'm not very personable. When I say that Mary is my best friend, perhaps it would be more accurate to say that, beyond my fiance, she is my only friend. It's good to have someone who's so instantly taken with me that they would sit around a coffee shop for four hours entertaining me.
I'm kind of excited for tomorrow. I want to see if the man in white is back. I sincerely hope I chased him off with my little wave. If I haven't...maybe I'll go talk to him? Of course, I won't do it alone. I'll bring my fiance or Erika with me, and see if we can't find out what's going on.
Dear diary, today I made a friend
That is quite possibly one of the most pathetic things I have ever written.
I ended up going out to the bar with Mary and her friends. They were all loud and obnoxious and I regretted being there almost instantly. I don't drink, and the music hurt my ears, and every time Mary's work friends saw my engagement ring they cooed and said how lucky I was, and pulled my hand away from me to eye the stone jealously, and asked if we had a date set, and franky I just wanted to drown them all in their beer pitcher just to be free from their infernal questioning.
I was saved, however, when a young woman walked up to me, said I looked a bit out of sorts and possibly a little distressed, and saved me from the sudden intellectual drought I had found myself in. At first, I think she was hitting on me, but eventually she saw that she was barking up two of the wrong trees, and she spoke to me as a friend.
We talked about music, and graphic novels, and Firefly, and Being Human, and Torchwood. She was a bright step up from Mary, who whenever the subject of a show comes up, instantly switches the topic to the attractiveness of that show's male lead. Yes, I agree with her choices, but it wears on a person. Some of us graduated from middle school, and have more things to talk about than the opposite sex.
She's agreed to give me some company tomorrow as I slave away at the coffee shop. It should be fun.
Mary's still whining about me not getting to know her friends better. Sigh. I'd better do something to reassure her she's still my best friend.
I ended up going out to the bar with Mary and her friends. They were all loud and obnoxious and I regretted being there almost instantly. I don't drink, and the music hurt my ears, and every time Mary's work friends saw my engagement ring they cooed and said how lucky I was, and pulled my hand away from me to eye the stone jealously, and asked if we had a date set, and franky I just wanted to drown them all in their beer pitcher just to be free from their infernal questioning.
I was saved, however, when a young woman walked up to me, said I looked a bit out of sorts and possibly a little distressed, and saved me from the sudden intellectual drought I had found myself in. At first, I think she was hitting on me, but eventually she saw that she was barking up two of the wrong trees, and she spoke to me as a friend.
We talked about music, and graphic novels, and Firefly, and Being Human, and Torchwood. She was a bright step up from Mary, who whenever the subject of a show comes up, instantly switches the topic to the attractiveness of that show's male lead. Yes, I agree with her choices, but it wears on a person. Some of us graduated from middle school, and have more things to talk about than the opposite sex.
She's agreed to give me some company tomorrow as I slave away at the coffee shop. It should be fun.
Mary's still whining about me not getting to know her friends better. Sigh. I'd better do something to reassure her she's still my best friend.
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