There is nothing quite like being woken the day after your fiance has been found dead in your very own place of residence by the police.
To answer any questions, I am fine, for the moment. Though, perhaps, a better way to say that is I am numb, for the moment. I feel cold, cold and empty. It will probably pass in time, but for now, I feel nothing. Clayre, Erika, and Mary all worry for me, but they shouldn't. This has wounded me, it has cut me very deeply, but I will survive, and I will scar over, and I will be a better person for this.
I have almost repeated that enough that I believe it.
At any rate, you have probably gained additional questions due to my rather attention-gathering post title. I had thought of perhaps doing something a bit less gaudy, but in the end, I went with shock value. Gauche, I know.
I am being held by the police, for my own good.
Apparently, the death of Tam, coupled with the lead-up to his murder, follow the pattern of a serial killer known as "the Chrysanthemum Slasher". Given the pattern of the Slasher, either I, someone Tam knows, or someone I know could be the next victims. So, I have police watching my movements at all hours of the night. Clayre and Mary and Erika have been staying with me at a house where we can all be watched carefully "for our own protection".
...and I honestly do not care if I am next.
I know that sounds terrible. I just do not care anymore. It's not that I don't want to live anymore. I just don't care if I die.
Yes, I know this means the baby would die too, but...I feel like a horrible person, but I have a hard time caring about that either. You didn't see what his body looked like. The pain he must have gone through. he must have been so scared, so alone. The killer took his heart. He took my Tam's heart. Why would someone do that to someone else? What sort of world am I bringing this child into, where someone will do that to another human being?
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