Those are my three most pronounced emotions these days. These police seem to believe I am the most likely target, even though nothing has happened in weeks. I am watched even closer than the others--Erika's no longer escorted outside the home, Mary is allowed unsupervised outings during the day, and Clayre has even been allowed to head back home!
But I'm stuck, watched all day, every day. I scarcely get time alone in the bathroom. It's not that I wish something would happen...I just wish I could be free from this. Tam's death has been...it should have been a moment, a terrible moment, but one that, like all moments, passed with time.
Instead, it's been my all. It's been everything in my life. I've not been allowed to even try to move on. That is all I want...the chance to grow past this. To heal.
But I fear I will never get it.
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